Ep 40: The Best Way to Choose a Diamond When She Doesn't Tell You What She Wants

Just last week, there was a guy who was agonizing a bit over what quality and size of diamond he should get. He was clear on the ring style, and he had his budget set, so all was moving along smoothly; until he started to worry and wonder a bit about what his girlfriend might want for the center diamond. 

He'd done a little research (enough to be dangerous), but not enough to really know what he was talking about.  Susan, one of my sales associates, helped clarify what the Four Cs of Diamond Quality are, then went straight into recommending a diamond which he liked.  He decided to go with it, put some money down to secure it, and life was moving along just fine.

Susan is a pro.  That's what you get in solid independent jewelry stores, and my store is no exception.  She could tell that something was nagging at him, so she asked him if he was feeling okay about what he chose. He said something like, "Yes, but, how do I know that the size and quality of the diamond is what she wants? I wonder if I should ask her." 

Susan's answer was spot on.  She said, "If she didn't specifically ask for a diamond that met certain criteria in terms of the Four Cs, then she trusts you to choose it on your own. If there is something that is important for her to have in terms of this diamond, believe me, you'd know because she would have told you."  This is especially insightful because it comes from a woman's point of view.  It's invaluable actually.  Here's why: 

There is a spectrum of how involved a woman wants to be in the "engagement ring getting" process. On one end are women who don't want to have anything to do with it. It's not that they don't care; it's that they will accept whatever her boyfriend/girlfriend chooses because it's from him/her. They do it on their own, and that means something to her. 

Then there's the other end of the spectrum where she's basically involved in every aspect of the process. She keeps a binder with spreadsheets, photos, business cards, inspirational quotes, and so on. She knows what she wants and spells it out for him. 

Of course, there are countless approaches in between these two extremes, and there is no "best" way except for the one that works best for each individual.

Why is it good to know about The Spectrum?  Because in every instance, if something about that ring is important for her to have, she will tell you. Quoting Susan, "If she didn't specifically ask for something like a certain color, or clarity, or carat weight, then she trusts you to choose."  According to her, and I couldn't agree more, what a guy should do is learn a little bit about the Four Cs, (enough to be dangerous) and then talk with a jewelry sales professional.  What's going to happen is you'll find out what's most important to you when it comes to a diamond. And that's how you make your decision. 

Your main takeaway is this: if she doesn't specifically ask for certain features in the ring or the center diamond, then she trusts you to make the call. And the best part? You can make that decision based on what you like and what you want her to have.  That makes this little dilemma a whole lot easier to handle.   

If you'd like help finding a jeweler closer to home, email me at andy@buylikeaguy.com and I'll do my best to put you in touch with some of the best jewelers on earth.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head. They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify.

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